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| I DONT' WANT TO BE THE MEAN ONE!! |
| 02.27.04 (3:55 pm) [edit] |
I took my beibi to get his 2 months shot. Or at least I thought it would be one… It so happens to be three. His little body sat on my lap at the clinic looking at the other older kids play with the ‘learning toys’ they have. I was the only one in uniform and I think the one that was scared the most. All of us moms started a conversation about each of our kids as I told them how scared I was. They laughed at the thought of mommy being more nervous than the “little boy with big brown eyes” (as they began to call him). My legs were shaking and my hands trembled. My eyes watery as I breathed in the smell of medicine that eventually gave me a headache.
“Girl, you better get used to it…” The mom of the 1-year-old girl dressed all in jeans said to me.
“Oh, mommy, you’ll be alright, you’ll see” another one said.
“I know, I just gotta get through this first one”, I replied.
Names were called one after the other, and as they each went in, their babies with smiles, came out either crying, or terrified from what had just happened.
I sat there wondering why my husband wasn’t there with me. Oh yeah, Japan/Korea might be the reason.
“Oh let me go get my friend the nurse so she can take my baby in there.” One of them said as she went out the door looking for someone to be the ‘mean’ one. She came in a few minutes later and stayed outside the office inside the clinic waiting for her little 5 month old baby (that looked 10 years old)* to cry. “Here I come baby!” she said to her daughter. “Mommy is here”.
I smiled at her as I began to think of ‘mean’ people I could take with me to the next appointment.
“Michael?” said the nurse. “Michael Cox?” she asked again.
I got up and they all tried to cheer me on. “It’ll be quick, you’ll see”
I laid my precious down and put up his sleeves. That’s when I realized that the shots were on his fat thighs, or ‘thunder thighs’ as his daddy calls them.
It all happened in less than 30 seconds. My baby let out a cry but stopped crying as soon as I pick him up.
“Everything okay?” the mother of the 10-year-old (five month) baby asked.
“I guess,” I said, but as soon as I put him in his stroller, the crying began.
Now, he’s at the babysitters, there’s a storm here in Hawaii and I wanna be with my little boy with big brown eyes…
I hope he doesn’t get sick*
I need to be ‘comforted’. I don’t like being the ‘mean’ one…
:(
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| Farts are always funny** |
| 02.26.04 (2:44 pm) [edit] |
So, for xmas I bought some people some gag gifts as a token of my appreciation. Nothing big. I bought Reid a door sign that said something like “Step back bitch, you’re entering a PIMP zone”, (something like that). I bought Gwen a this-is-how-I-feel-today book with the “happy bunny”… you know, the ones that say, “kiss my pooper” or “you’re ugly” shit like that. I got Vanative a little ‘pink’ care bear key chain and Jen a drinking poker game. But my biggest mistake was what I got SSgt. “THE FART MACHINE”. Because he has this horrible habit of going around the office and making fart noises every time someone bends down and gets up from their chair, or ANYTHING!! I thought it would make a nice gag gift.
So the other day, Fudgeface8 was running around the office pretending to fart next to ‘customers’ or just pretty much anyone that didn’t belong to the office. You should’ve seen Ms Lynn’s face!!! So now they’ve been using that for some time now and it just seems like it’s not gonna end. Because SSgt swears that farts never go out of style…
Anyway-
Lol)*
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| another night, another story |
| 02.26.04 (12:27 pm) [edit] |
It was my turn to cook for them… So I ordered pizza, (you guys can’t use that one now).
We ate and watched tv again. This time it was the O. C. Me and Jen sat and discussed the ridiculous actors looking the same age as their “parents” rather then high school students, while JP and Gonzo checked out the girls and discussed which one they would do first.. Gigi didn’t talk much. She was eating…(lol) j/k**
We watched “Friends” and laughed at the stories and how they relate (in a more sober way to us)* except some times they don’t really go…. Lol
-Flashback-
We were sitting at Bob’s having a few beers when Jen said, “Dude, we’re like “Friends” but in a drinking way. And Bob’s is like “Central Perk” but instead of coffee we drink beer” it was funny when she said it, it really was! But then again, we WERE drunk.
Anyhow, if you drink you’d realize that the stories are completely different than the people’s that DON’T drink. But this is who we are…
GUYS:
Joey: JP (I think it’s cause he “sleeps” a lot)
Chandler: Dirty* (because he’s married, though not to me)
Ross: Sergio (because of “Rachel” –nothing more to say)*
GIRLS:
Rachel: Jen (cause she wanted to be her- and because of “Ross”)
Monica: ME (cause I act like her sometimes when I talk, “I KNOW!!” )
Phoebe: Gigi (lol, cause there’s just too many similarities-j/k gigi)*
-End Flashback-
Nothing much happened again.
I miss my husband and think that his absence is disturbing the possibilities of me being a dork at all times. I wish things were different between us. It would be easier, but they aren't... and that's all there is to say.
After all that everyone left. Gonzo stayed a little longer and we talked about a lot of things.
We're planning to go see "Dirty Dancing (havana nights)" tomorrow. Jen thinks she can meet some Cubans there... lol.
(No silent, it has nothing to do with me beibi). I don't want to say no names- But it has to do with another Cuban that works at Disbo, that is deployed to Korea with my husband right now.. (her 'eye candy')
lol
I'll write if anything else comes up*
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| Señales De Humo |
| 02.26.04 (11:42 am) [edit] |
Te mando señales de humo
como un fiel apache
pero no comprendes el truco
y se pierde en el aire
Te mando la punta de un beso
que roza la tarde
y un código Morse trasmite
el "te quiero" de un ángel
se pierde en el aire...
Ay, amor...
Te mando la luz de mis ojos
de un cuarto menguante
y un sol embriagado la eclipsa
y no puede excusarse
¿Qué voy a hacer?
inventar alfabeto en las nubes
conjugarnos al amanecer
y sentarme sobre tus pupilas
y reír o llorar mi querer
si no puedo encontrarte esta vez
Te mando señales de humo
como un fiel apache
pero no comprendes el truco
y se pierde en el aire
Oye,amor miio, tú ves
Y tu amor me cubre la piel
es como alimento
que me llena el alma de miel
sin tu amor yo muero
Una mañana caminando
sobre tu cuerpo
sembré el oficio del amanecer
se levantan las estrellas
y el sol no alumbra mis sueños de mujer
Y tu amor me cubre la piel
es como alimento
que me llena el alma de miel
sin tu amor yo muero
Mi corazón se me ha doblado
ya no quema la luz de mi piel
y si pasa mucho tiempo,
sin tu amor yo muero,
Y tu amor me cubre la piel
es como alimento
(la razón de mi existencia)
que me llena el alma de miel
sin tu amor yo muero
Y tu amor me cubre la piel
sin tu amor yo muero
una mañana caminando en tu cuerpo rosas
sembré
sin tu amor yo muero
mi corazón se me ha doblao de tanto querer
sin tu amor yo muero
No, no ,no, me queman otros besos
y llevo a Dios en mi piel
sin tu amor yo muero
es alimento que llena mi alma
no me confundas.
sin tu amor yo...
:(
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| Fudgeface8 |
| 02.25.04 (9:50 am) [edit] |
"Wow, it's a Cardinal, I haven't seen any of those in Hawaii!" she says as we drive to the baby sitter that doesn't want to open her door.
"I'm glad you know your flowers" I try to pretend i know what she's talking about.
"Umm, THAT'S a BIRD"
lmao*
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| the peeps! |
| 02.24.04 (1:17 pm) [edit] |
I had friends come over last night. It was dinner and a movie. Except we saw no movies, but we DID watch the “littlest groom” (I’m not even going to talk about that show)*. Jen and Gigi got there early, and as I drove in I see them with food and condiments. I guess Jen was going to cook enchiladas. Now I’m scared!! Gigi was making rice, yeah, it didn’t get any better. So, as the hostess, I offered to get the beer. We went up the apartment and they started cooking- I started to pick on their food (I called it ‘tasting’).
Dirty and JP got there a little bit later, (they got lost). Let’s just say that it takes from Kaneohe Bay to Honolulu (Red Hill) 15—20 mins to get there. These two got there 1 hour and ½ later, (men, can’t drive or follow directions for shit)*.
They brought more beer. They offered to cook today (dominoes)*.
We watched the last episode of “My BIG FAT OBNOXIOUS wedding” as we ate the food.
That was my night, not much happened to me. But it was nice that my friends came to keep me company-
Thnx lots guys!
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| You save my life everyday- |
| 02.23.04 (3:07 pm) [edit] |
It was a shitty afternoon… Alone again and watching TV. A regular Sunday afternoon. La Diabla came over and we watched some “Lifetime”. Ate what Diabla cooked (pasta), and watched the last episode of Sex And the City (what am I going to do on Sundays at 7pm now?!?!). After a little bit I remembered I needed help with something- or should I say “someone”. So we head – ha ha, I said head*- to the gear locker and try to move the Rubbermaid box. This motherfucker is so heavy that the both of us are about to get a hernia moving it, piece of shit is full of fucking books (yeah, I read sometimes)*.
So we move it and guess ‘who’ I find- “El Dildo”. Life is great at that point, she didn’t stay long after that. So I go and get ready, you know, trying to make it more real. I take a shower, put on the candles, and lay down to ‘think’. Everything is going great, and I turn it on… nothing.
NOT A DAMN THING- no feeling, no emotional attachment.
I guess I just gotta get to know ‘him’ again… I’m not the type for flings.
Anyway, this one’s for la Diabla, for re-entroducing me to my “ex”.
**you save my life everyday**
:lol: :lol:
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| FUDGEFACE 2 |
| 02.20.04 (11:19 am) [edit] |
Okay, I gotta continue that last story-
So I was explaining to her that I asked Mike to get the box before he left- he didn’t. (maybe he didn’t want me to ‘use it’ while he was gone). Well, the thing is that I have a ‘gear closet’ full of shit that belongs to me and Michael, shit we don’t really want to unpack or put around the house since we’re leaving this place in like 6 months anyway- nobody likes to pack…
Anyway, these are BIG ASS Rubbermaid boxes (which her joke is “the name fits, huh?- the Rubbermaid part, people”). I was explaing how I’d have to move the boxes myself, and she just thought it was so funny to exploit the opportunity of one of those boxes falling on me. She said “ I don’t want to have to explain what happened- ‘cause I’m gonna be laughing. You’ll be in intensive care at Tripler (Army Medical Center), and I’ll be laughing trying to explain why I’m laughing.”
Thanks Fudgeface!
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| SPLASH WATERFALLS.... (NO PUN INTENDED)* |
| 02.20.04 (10:34 am) [edit] |
So my husband is in Iwakuni, Japan right now… on his way to Korea. It’s only been 4 days and I feel hornier than ever. Maybe it’s the stress from MCAAT (Marine Corps Administrative Analysis Team). Maybe I’m just getting my “libido” back (lol), who knows why, but why is it that these past two days I’ve just been picturing myself having some wild, crazy, emotional, give all-take all sex?!? I go to sleep imagining some more sex, so good it makes me wanna touch myself- MAN, I’m a freak!
Anyways, I went to my gear closet last night, looking for my “special box of toys”. I am soo mad!!! It’s under another box and I can’t get it!!
You know, the weirdest thing is I haven’t been able to be very imaginative with my dildo before (YES, I SAID DILDO)*, and now that my imagination is taking it’s own wild trip, I can’t do nothing. HELLO, I WOULD LIKE TO SERVICE MYSELF, PLEASE!!!!!
Anyways, I was listening to this song and I almost peed my pants….
“HELLO?!?!?!? CAN SOMEONE GET ME THE BUCKET PLEASE!!!!
SPLASH WATERFALLS
feat. Sandy Coffee)
[Ludacris + (Sandy Coffee)]
Ohhhh! Ohhhh! Ohhhh! Say it (make love to me)
Ohhhh! Ohhhh! Ohhhh! What? (fuck, meee!)
Ohhhh! Ohhhh! Ohhhh! Say it (make love to me)
Ohhhh! Ohhhh! Ohhhh! What? (fuck, meee!)
I'm bout to throw some game, they both one and the same
Cupid's the one to blame - say it (make love to me)
I'm bout to shed some light, cause each and every night
You gotta do it right - what? (fuck, meee!)
They want it nice and slow, kiss 'em from head to toe
Relax and let it go - say it (make love to me)
They want it now and fast, grabbin and smackin ass
You gotta make it last - what? (fuck, meee!)
Together holdin hands, you out there spendin grands
And makin family plans - say it (make love to me)
Don't have to straighten facts, don't want no strings attached
Just scratches on your BACK - what? (fuck, meee!)
Ex's ain't actin right, and you so glad to fight
Dinner's by candlelight - say it (make love to me)
She got a nigga whipped, down to ya fingertips
Tryin that freaky shit - what? (fuck, meee!)
Turn on some Babyface, just for your lady's sake
You call her babycakes - say it (make love to me)
Know how to mack a broad, she's on your sack and balls
You call her Jabberjaws - what? (fuck, meee!)
You bout to buy a ring, she needs the finer things
Gucci designer frames - say it (make love to me)
Purchase a nasty flick, wrap up and tie her quick
Know how to drive a stick - what? (fuck, meee!)
You both unite as one, you the moon and she's your sun
Your heart's a beating drum - say it (make love to me)
You better not of came, she want to feel the pain
Then hear her scream your name - what? (fuck, meee!)
Follow this DICK-tionary, you're both some visionaries
Then do it missionary - say it (make love to me)
I hear 'em call da wild, and do it all the while
Doggy and FROGGY style - what? (fuck, meee!)
You in between the sheets, lickin and eatin sweets
And what you find you keep - say it (make love to me)
You do it standin up, orgasms hand 'em up
Y'all just don't GIVE A FUCK - what? (fuck, meee!)
You wanna tell the world, cause she's your favorite girl
Your diamond and your pearl - say it (make love to me)
Nobody has to know, just keep it on the low
And meet 'em right at fo' - what? (fuck, meee!)
Nothin but fights and fussin, plus there's a lot of cussin
Just grab ahold of SOMETHIN - say it (make love to me)
Y'all do that BAD stuff, she like it rammed up
Ropes and HANDCUFFS - what? (fuck, meee!)
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| it's only hate |
| 02.10.04 (7:28 pm) [edit] |
i always knew my husband loved me, yet, it wasn't the way i wanted him to.
but i realize after a little time, that this is really what love is all about-
he knows-
you think he doesn't but he does. and all you out there that talk shit about us, i hope you burn in hell.
like him.
i thought it all would pass, but-
the pain will NEVER go away. the hate will only grow as time goes by.. . as i look into my baby's innocent eyes..
the burn is not temporary, and i swear in all i have, that he will pay. some how, some day.
i hurt not only for myself, but for my baby most. i hurt for my husband whom is in pain himself. i hurt because no matter how good life has been to me, [i]it'll never be bad enough to him[/i] to please my rage.
... maybe there's too much hate and anger in me to write anything right now. there's no more sadness, the tears have gone dry.
[b]there's only hate...[/b]
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Leaving is the longest word I ever learned
In the time it takes to say it, the whole world has turned
If a heartbeat lasts a lifetime then I've lived before
`cause I remember standing at this open door
This path is not the one I'd choose to travel
Even as we watch what tied us unravel
And the tears fall like rain
Deeper than crying, the loving still remains
Neither wants to be the one to say goodbye
And neither wants to be the one who's left to cry
But in our secret heart of hearts we both know
That the time for patching up has passed and it's time to go
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