 Blog For Free!
Archives
Home
2004 June
2004 May
2004 April
2004 March
2004 February
2004 January
2003 December
2003 November
2003 October
2003 September
2003 August
My Links
selina610
trickster
vanative
silentwordz
stormyweather
oscarus
tearjoy
ma
william
fudgeface8
dumblondegirl
la diabla
keeper of secrets
el kitty kat
MINE*
miss Giggles
sometimes
googy
tBlog
My Profile
Send tMail
My tFriends
My Images
Sponsored
Blog
|
| OFFICE SPACE (a really under rated movie)* |
| 04.29.04 (2:27 pm) [edit] |
Okay, if you’re new and don’t know what I do, I just want to say I work in the field of Administration. And right now, I really hate my job, but I have a friend (MissFunnyHeHe*) who compared my work with the movie “Office Space”. Well, here are a few quotes from that movie that may relate to me talking to her about my work, and what her replies may sound like. ENJOY…
Peter: So I was sitting is my cubicle today, and I realized.. ever since I started working, every single day of my life has been worse than the day before it. So that means that every single day that you see me.. that's on the worst day of my life.
Therapist: What about today? Is today the worst day of your life?
Peter: Yeah.
Therapist: Wow, that's messed up. ------------------------- ----------------------
Peter: Uh, so I go through these thousands of lines of code and, uh.. it doesn't really matter. I don't like my job, and I don't think I'm gonna go anymore.
Joanna: You're just not gonna go?
Peter: Yeah.
Joanna: Won't you get fired?
Peter: I don't know. But I really don't like it.. and I'm not gonna go.
Joanna: So you're gonna quit?
Peter: Nuh-uh. Not really. I'm just gonna stop going.
Joanna: When did you decide all that?
Peter: About an hour ago.
Joanna: Really?
Peter: Yeah.
Joanna: An hour ago.. so are you gonna get another job?
Peter: I don't think I'd like another job.
Joanna: Well.. what are you gonna do about money, and bills, and--
Peter: You know, I never really liked paying bills. I don't think I'm gonna do that either. ------------------------- ------------------------- - Michael: You were supposed to come in on Saturday. What were you doing?
Peter: Michael, I did nothing. I did absolutely nothing and it was everything that I thought it could be. ------------------------- -----------------
Bob #1: We're trying to get a feel for what people do around here.. so, could you just walk us through a typical day for you?
Peter: Well, sure Bob. I generally come in at least 15 minutes late. I use the side door; that way Lumbergh can't see me, and after that I just sorta space out for about an hour--
Bob #2: Ah wait--space out?
Peter: Yeah. I just stare at my desk. But it looks like I'm working. I do that for, uh.. probably another hour after lunch too. I'd say, in a given week, I probably only do about 15 minutes of real, actual.. work. ------------------------- ------------------
Peter: I realized something today. It's not just about me and my dream of doing nothing. It's about all of us, together... We don't have a lot of time on this earth; we weren't meant to spend it this way! Human beings were not meant to sit in little cubicles staring at computer screens all day!
|
|
|
| |
| CAN YOU? |
| 04.28.04 (4:35 pm) [edit] |
[b]This is a "song" i wrote... i have no music for it yet. but one day, when i become a rock star- i'll sing it. I have other songs i wrote i want to start posting. maybe i'll bring them in tomorrow-[/b]
"Can You?" I have nothing that does not belong to you You’ve seen every gesture I have made There’s no tone of voice from me that would sound new And my body from your memory won’t fade
There’s no single touch you have not savored Not a single picture you could throw away No position in love you have not favored You tell me go, but you’ll be back soon to stay…
Can you leave me and be happy somewhere else Can you focus on tomorrow and not cry for yesterday Can you see your life without me would be false? I can change your thinking baby, Can you stay?
There’s a pain that just won’t die around here Though sometimes it feels like it is numb In the mornings I can go without a tear It’s the nights when it all turns into crumbs
You’ve had my dreams, my love and the color in my eyes Some times you wonder if I’m slowly going insane My philosophies in life you find to be quite wise Though sometimes it may seem I don’t even have a brain.
You think i live my life as in a fairytale And though you don’t say it, you like me just like that So now you tell me you want this love to fail? C’mon baby, you can’t get rid of this kitty cat.
Can you leave me and be happy somewhere else Can you focus on tomorrow and not cry for yesterday Can you see your life without me would be false? I can change your thinking baby, Can you stay?
I too thought i could live without your smile Seeing other faces only makes me want to call I’ve been smoking, drinking, thinking for a while But this heartache now is taking over all….
|
|
|
| |
| cute boys always make you feel better* |
| 04.27.04 (6:17 pm) [edit] |
OKAY, I was having what you may call- a shitty day. SO MUCH FUCKING WORK AND I’M THE ONLY ONE HERE TO DO IT. Well, my sgt has been helping me, but seriously… we need our Marines to come back- Anyhow, I was getting an MP (cute cute cute!!!!)* who was going TAD to a school out of here, when he suddenly said, “are you okay?” “yeah, I’m fine…” I said without looking at him. “Is there anyone one out there bothering- anyone you want me to kill for you?” he asked I giggled as I said “no, not today, thank you” “I’ll do it- [b]for you[/b], I will” he said again. I then got this really warm feeling inside, if you could just hear him say it… (I still hear it and feel the same way all over again). I think he was trying to flirt. To tell you the truth I wish I would’ve flirted back, but I just gave him his SRB and told him “good luck on your school. You’re done” He just sat there and kept asking "i'm done? are you sure?" trying to look at the pictures up at my desk. "YES" i said again, with barely a smile on my face Anyway, he WAS cute… oh yes he was…
Nancy: [on cell phone] What? You definitely know there's a God 'cause why? Bess: Because at this very moment I am a girl on a raft in a sea of male cuteness. Remember all those years in high school when I was like, "Where are all the cute boys?" They were here Nancy, at River Heights University (Marine Corps-for me), all along. Cute football boys, cute skater boys, even cute computer geek boys! I feel like that "Crocodile Hunter" guy. I have found the sacred watering hole of the gorgeous male. I swear, if I'd known, I would have gone to college (joined the Marine Corps) years ago.
|
|
|
| |
| all i care about is you- |
| 04.26.04 (7:29 pm) [edit] |
I can hear your pain by the tone of your voice I can see the tears you don’t want to show No, I can’t make you stay; it’s not my choice I’ll be willing to try again, that, you must know.
I learned the simple ways to spend a Friday night Ride around site seeing doing nothing, wasting gas The trips around the island when we got into a fight Going to the beach, and just laying on the grass.
I miss your sexy phone calls, and that desperate sound The way you laughed at me with all my silly thoughts You know that you can’t leave me; to you my heart is bound To learn to live without you is not what you have taught.
There’s no way I could think of, to make you realize That nothing else matters, as much as you and I Let me be again, the one you idealize How else could I say, that without you I would die.
I’m waiting for you baby Counting days for your return I’m standing alone on a ‘maybe’ But I don’t care, for you I yearn.
There were days I thought our love was over I could move on, stand proud, and protect my pride It would mean nothing to be with any other When they can’t give the love you can provide.
I’ve given you my way of thinking My goofy ways, my smiles and tears They way you hate my off key singing My body, my soul and all my fears
I’ll make up new ways to make you love me Become another person you don’t know Beg you to stay crying on one knee But please… please… don’t let me go. :cry:
|
|
|
| |
| When a relationship dies do we ever really give up the ghost or are we forever haunted by the spirit |
| 04.26.04 (11:13 am) [edit] |
Dear Sukrmom2, Here is your horoscope for Monday, April 26:
It's not in your nature to hide your feelings, especially the more amorous ones. Today, however, you may need to sit back and be a good little lion -- for the sake of someone you love who isn't quite so brave.
Yeah, no shit. Are you serious?! :evil: Let’s just say that right now my feelings are of ‘rage’ rather than ‘amourous’ ones. Saturday was my husband’s birthday in Okinawa, and yesterday it was his birthday here. I’m not very happy about the fact that he hasn’t called me in a week (to be exact) but the fact that he won’t even give me that much!?!? He doesn’t have the decency of letting me wish him a happy birthday (no matter how mad we are at each other) after being married 3 years- is outrageous!!!! I’m flipping out and I swear to God I’m gonna kill him. And by no means take that lightly. I am past the ‘sad-I’m-not-sure-what’s- going-on-insecure’ feelings right now; I’m in the mood to KILL!! And then… I go find out that he’s not coming back on the 29th, now it’s on the 2nd. And the only reason I know it’s because his MSgt keeps me informed… Ahhh… Anyway, nothing happened this weekend. Saturday I laid on my living room floor (rug) and listened to sad songs while I got drunk… by myself. Sunday I took off my ring… :cry: Today, I’m not feeling sad, guilty or [b]suicidal [/b]anymore… I guess the world doesn’t stop for my broken heart-
|
|
|
| |
| The show must go on... |
| 04.23.04 (1:11 pm) [edit] |
[i]I was a fool to believe . . . A fool to believe. . . It all ends today. . . Yes, it all ends today Today's the day when dreaming ends[/i]
Another hero, another mindless crime Behind the curtain in the pantomime On and on... Does anybody know what we are living for?
Whatever happened, we leave it all to chance Another heartache, another failed romance On and on...Does anybody know what we are living for?
The show must go on...The show must go on
Outside the dawn is breaking On the stage that holds our final destiny The show must go on. The show must go on
[u][b]Inside my heart is breaking My makeup may be flaking But my smile still stays on[/b][/u]
The show must go on...The show must go on
|
|
|
| |
| So when it rains it pours… |
| 04.20.04 (7:52 pm) [edit] |
Someone freaking shoot me. My husband wants a divorce but he tells me to wait till he comes back to decide. He has very good reasons to change his mind, but it hurts me that he still calls me and says he’s still in love with me… L I don’t want to wait, the longer I wait the more it hurts but I wait because there’s a considerably big chance that he’ll change his mind. And I know that it sounds bad because I’m waiting for a ‘maybe’ (which is completely not something I would do) and it’s destroying me inside. I’m seriously considering going UA. I’m so tired of this place and everyone. I have 43 days to take terminal and now they’re saying that I can only take 30 because I’m ‘Command Essential’. Right… Right… Everyone at work is driving me crazy, and I just want to smack some of them in the face sometimes… I’m having financial problems and my head is about to explode, (if I don’t smash it against the wall first). I’m lonely and I HATE being alone… but it seems all I want to do lately. I’m losing a large amount of hair (thinning) and it’s scaring me. The doctor said that it might be a ‘post-partum’ thing. I bet I could think of ten thousand other things that are going wrong but I rather go home right now and go to sleep. My husband said he’ll call and I don’t want to miss the phone call… I have a lot of things to ask him.
At least the day is about to end and I get to go pick up my beautiful happy son. He always seems to make me smile.
|
|
|
| |
| "Cuentale que te conoci bailando..." |
| 04.19.04 (4:28 pm) [edit] |
How should I start this? I had the most wonderful time I have had in a reeeeaally long time! Let me start by saying that I dropped off the baby with the ‘babysitter’ (for that night) and headed to the E-club. When we got there (around 10 pm) the band wasn’t playing yet. But they were playing salsa already. We (gonzo, Pinguino, miss giggles, la Diabla, new-blonde-girl, and me) found a place to sit while I kept telling La Diabla about the cute security guard with the light. We sat there and Pinguino got me a Corona. He laughed at me and wondered why I didn’t get any hard liquor. I figured he was already drunk. We were sitting, waiting and drinking, and the excitement in me made my hands shake. To tell you the truth about the whole night the most I remember is my sweaty back, how free I felt dancing ALL night, “Colombian boy” and laughing. I had such a good time I wanted to go to Sestinas (a nightclub owned by some Cuban lady I still haven’t met) the next night and dance some more… Kitty got there a little later (not all that late) and she was all tight in her ‘painted-like’ jean outfit. She too noticed the security guy and now we’re trying to get La Diabla to hook it up!!! But she’s greedy, man! Now let me tell you about Colombian boy… lol GREAT DANCER. I can’t dance that well, but dancing with him was easy. He took control and I had no worries but to follow (which is the way it really should be). I enjoyed dancing with him so much we dance for quite some time. The thing I liked most about him was the way he ‘handled’ me. You know, when a man takes control and you feel helpless and completely lose control… (Never mind, that’s another story). I think I only feel that cause I’ve been soo alone. I miss the presence of my husband… However, I had a good time. I can’t wait till I can go out dancing again!! My legs are SORE and I can’t even walk down the stairs! Then Saturday Pinguino had a BBQ. I got there late and didn’t really eat. But it was nice spending time with them, rather than being home alone and depressed…
|
|
|
| |
| They say that when everything comes apart… love’s the only thing that can bring it together- |
| 04.19.04 (12:26 pm) [edit] |
I don’t know if you’re gonna read this before you get back. And maybe you have more important emails to read (some one else’s). Please call me as soon as you get this. Did you find someone else… Do you want your freedom back? If you do I will let you go. But if you’re hurt, but still love me, I can make you forget about it.. I can make your pain go away. I will help you through this. I’m hurting too… Because you ‘re the one thing that matters to me the most, and yet I hurt you like this. I’m sorry an infinite times over- please.. give me a chance!! I love you. Let me be yours forever… I promise you won’t regret it. I can make the rest of your life be the happiest years of your life. WE need YOU. I don’t want any one else. I never did…. I was just hurt… and I took it too far- Please, let’s stop this NOW We still have a chance to be happy* PLEASE I’ll beg you as long as you let me know that you still love me. If we have a chance and you still want to I will try my hardest to be with you. YOU”RE ALL I NEED!!! If you don’ t love me anymore- I’ll let you go* Just let me know which way to turn… I LOVE YOU. Don’t leave….
Behold, children are a gift of the Lord; the fruit of the womb is a reward. Psalms 127:3
|
|
|
| |
| I've been really naughty, haven't I? Perhaps a good spanking's in order? |
| 04.16.04 (4:09 pm) [edit] |
I was thinking "Mr Blue Eyes" and his wife could be a nice couple me and the husband could hang around with. Than i thought, (yes, i did 'thought'), what if his wife is really good looking?! Then my husband would be looking at [i]her[/i]. LISTEN, we have enough problems with me looking at him.... Damn, he makes me wish my husband and me were 'swingers'... LOL!! Anyways, they transfered him to Camp Smith and he'll be gone on Monday... :( no more eye candy. I'm gonna try to find a way to stay in touch. He invited me to a BBQ tonight at his house.. I might just ditch Latin Night to go over there and look at him all night... Oh shit, he asked me to go smoke... I better stop writing about him before he finds out- peace!*
|
|
|
| |
| a new friend* |
| 04.15.04 (4:09 pm) [edit] |
Okay, I already wrote my bitchy blog for the day. Now, on a brighter note… Last night was a good night. I made a new friend I had initially had a problem with. If you know me well, then you’d know that I could be a real bitchy person. ESPECIALLY if I don’t like you- For those of you that are nodding your heads as you read this you might also agree that I have no in-between-feelings. Allow me to expand on that… I either love you or hate you. It’s all black and white to me. It’s either the whole truth or an all-outrageous lie. I’m either your friend or your enemy. I either confront you or ignore you… -I’m either pregnant or not- Anyways, this guy I didn’t really talk to, much. I never liked him and never gave him a chance (as a friend-follow me here)*. Anyways, yesterday we drank together. Who would’ve thought that we had so much in common? It was “el Gonzo” (damn, that was so freaking Mexican), Pinguino, Nerd-linguer (flashback*), him and me. We drank and laughed all night. I had a REALLY good night, like the ones I haven’t had since I found out I was pregnant… I miss them a lot and I think I forgot how great they all were, and the good times they always showed me. They were making fun of me cause I said a few “Mexican saying”! they kept saying how I’m turning Mexican and how my parents are gonna have to feed me some ‘arroz con pollo’ when I go back home, to turn me back to full Cuban again and I’m gonna try to wrap it in a tortilla… lol)* Anyway, the point of my ‘derrived’story was that I made a new friend..
|
|
|
| |
| AGGGGHHHHH!!!!!!!! |
| 04.15.04 (1:20 pm) [edit] |
Okay first is first. Let me let you know… I DO NOT HAVE ENOUGH MONEY TO LIVE- How did I end up in this whole? I’ll tell you- it’s the easiest way to go broke. To gain a complete different perspective on what’s important and to go crazy/bald! It’s the biggest, and yet most beautiful mistake of my life… I call it- THE BABY! I got paid $1400 this paycheck. Which seem plenty of money if I was on the main land. But I live in Hawaii, and life here is expensive. More than it needs to be… with so many damn tourists always visiting. Even when the streets are all full of pot wholes- what the hell do they do with their money? Anyway, my rent is $1089, which my husband gives me $500 while he’s gone so I could pay it. Okay… that’s half the rent. Now I still have to pay the baby sitter, which is about $216 for two weeks (not bad, I know) but I paid last time for three because we got paid a little late… Now, that was $324. Diapers alone are like $12 a pack of like 26 or something like that. Formula is like almost $13 for one little can!! My baby goes through formula like he’s breathing it in and diapers. What can I say, I buy my pack for home every payday for me at home and another for my babysitter (that way I won’t have to keep packing them each morning)*. That alone is about $200 a month. There’s the baby clothes, which the poor baby is not getting much of- he’ll have to wait until he really runs out of clothes. Then there’s my car payment $320. The electric bill is cheap; it’s only like $80 a month. Then the phone bill is like $125-$180, (it depends on my minutes-it’s the cell phone). The cable (which I think I’m turning off) is about $120. Then the other credit card bills I acquired before I got married (3 years ago-that seem to be getting bigger rather than smaller) and my husband’s. The loan we took out for our little wedding ceremony, and I’m not even gonna go talk about insurance. I still haven’t even included the groceries bill (which isn’t much by myself, but it’s still sick cause a girl’s gotta eat). And to not go on and on, let me just say that yes, I need gas to drive back and forth the ten thousand miles away I live from work, (I told Michael we should’ve just moved on base!). Now, this paycheck I’m taking another $400 out of his account to mine so I could pay all the stuff I still haven’t paid. He will probably get upset because he thinks that the other bills he doesn’t have to help out with because he’s in Korea and he’s not using electricity, etc. Now, I can kind of see where he’s coming from and that’s why I’m not even gonna get upset about that anymore (because I don’t want to give myself another panic attack). I’m sure I can think of many more things I have to pay, like going out with my friends to the movies (which is only like once a paycheck) and I do because it gets lonely. With my husband gone and no one to come hang out with me at my house… I need the company every now and then. Anyway, I just needed to bitch about my problems for a minute or two. I’m okay though, I’ve gone through worse and being poor doesn’t scare me. I mean, I’ve gone hungry before in Cuba and I don’t scare easily. My parent’s just spent a $1 million on land for a house and I’ll live there forever if I can’t find a job! Lmao! J/k. I’ll sell drugs or something!
|
|
|
| |
| ....so now we're thiefs |
| 04.14.04 (1:40 pm) [edit] |
Okay, so yesterday me and kitty and “miss giggles” (okay, kitty came up with that name!!) went to subway for lunch because well, I have no money- So we’re standing in line and when we get the cashier I tell Kitty who offers to pay because she’s embarrassed I’m paying for my coke with change (note: the sandwich is free) to give her the “dollar” and at the same time Miss giggles asks me for a bag of chips. I give it to her and the cashier says “Do you want me to add the chips to your order” and I say “No, no just the soda” so she’s like “Okay”. Well, next thing I know is Miss Giggles telling me a story of some guy she met and I was like “Dude, I can’t concentrate on your story right now, I keep thinking about this other thing that just happened” “What?” she asked. “Wait, I’ll let you know in a minute when we get out” I tell both of them. So outside she’s like “what were you thinking of?” “DUDE, WE DIDN’T PAY FOR THIS!!!” I say to her and she’s like “yeah we did!” I start laughing and say “NO WE DIDN’T!! You paid for my soda, and then you walked out with me without paying for the chips! LADRONA!” She starts laughing and says, “You more that didn’t say nothing! U noticed, we didn’t!” So then Kitty says pointing at her, “Well… You stole it, not ‘we’ “ then she points at me and says “and you cause you knew and didn’t say anything” that’s when she realized and said “well, I guess me too cause I ‘could’ go back and tell them”. That’s when we went to her room to watch lifetime movie network and dance on tables (Well, they were. I was being good, like we said; I’m a little ‘rusty’). Oh yeah, that’s when we say Kitty’s “pencil stick” invention, (you’ll have to read HER blog for that). That’s all I have. We’re going to Gonzo’s now- I’ll tell you all what happened there…
****p.s. I found a baby sitter for ‘latin night’!!!!!! GIRLS GONE WILD ain’t got NOTHING on US!!!****
|
|
|
| |
| Where you used to be, there is a hole in the world, which I find myself constantly walking around in |
| 04.12.04 (6:59 pm) [edit] |
It’s been a while you’ve been gone. I’m getting weary, waiting for you to come home. I’m deliberately thinking of your hands. My troubled heart, whimpering in the rain. Casting to the skies, to bring you back to me. My eyes are feeling the pain from the tears I’ve held back. I close my eyes and feel your skin, brushing against mine. Feeling your body pressing hard. I could almost touch you…. I could almost lust you, again. My short breaths will make me wet. The thought of you will get me there. I don’t need music, no candles burning in the wind. I’ve got my passion, your picture and the illusion of your face. I’ve got your moist lips, burning dry on mine. I’ve got the moans, the ones you made me re-invent. I’ve got your voice, rusty and hot that rings in me. I’ve got your sweaty chest, your nasty words, and your glance. You left them with me, before you went away… I can’t help myself…
|
|
|
| |
| now you know... |
| 04.12.04 (6:48 pm) [edit] |
If you got to know him, u would fall in love. With his fragile hands, holding a finger from yours. His feet dance in the wind…. She says he runs. Hi toothless smile, his eyes so bright, his dimples fattened, his belly out. His hair is falling, his sinus problems. I know I’ve been in love. His giggle lingers in his lips, ringing softly in my heart. He wipes his eyes with his little fists… and yawns a half a smile. He flirts with girls, there we go again… He yells and screams, from happiness… And I’m feeling the same way all over, again.
You would fall in love, and be there for him… You’d laugh when he gets mad. Your heart would die, when you see that little single tear falling from his eye. I know you wouldn't know...
|
|
|
| |
| From time to time- |
| 04.08.04 (3:56 pm) [edit] |
It happened again… It didn’t happen all so fast this time, I felt it coming, I knew. I took a rain check on my friends. Didn’t want it to happen there. I screamed and cried. Rocked back and forth, my hands shaking, my lips quivering, my heart dead. I knew not how to stop it. I wondered why, couldn’t find the answer. I wanted Michael to be there. To hold me while I cried… He does that. I needed that. I crawled into the smallest corner of my bed and screamed… I’m okay now. I’m good again. My eyes hurt. I guess you could always tell, when I’ve gone through that. My eyes always hurt the next day. Did I go crazy? I think a lot… Am I losing all control? The racing heartbeat, the dizziness… Make it end, I cried. Make it go away! I can’t sleep…and now my head hurts. My toes curled up again… my legs sliding up and down the sheets. I’m tired now- I fell asleep.
|
|
|
| |
| "To be in a couple, do you have to put your single self on a shelf?" Carrie (Sex and the City)* |
| 04.06.04 (6:09 pm) [edit] |
Okay, I wasn’t gonna write anything about this, but I can’t help it… lol We got a new guy in the office. DAMN!! It’s about time we get someone that could become MY eye candy* ALL my friends have one- or had… some of them PCS (right kitty*?) OMG. For real, he’s really hot. I know the hubby is gonna read this, but I can’t lie… He’s easy on the eyes* Not someone I would have a one-night stand (if I was single). He’s someone I would be serious with kind of thing… but then again, everyone I get with has to be someone I’m gonna be serious with… I’m sorry beibi, but I’ve been flirting…. Actually we just talk about our babies and our ‘spouses’. He’s got a 4 month little girl and I told him I was gonna hook her up with my 3 ½ month old boy… But he touched me (while he was helping me with my sleeves and I almost passed out). I think it’s the 3 months I’ve been without sex… lol!!! I commented to Vanative how beautiful his big blue eyes are…and then I joked about how my husband better come back soon. He laughed… Anyway, the point of my story was that we were outside talking and he asked if I smoked…. I thought about it for a little and said… “Yes” knowing that I’m actually succeeding in quitting (till now) and he said “what kind?” I said “Menthols… Light” he was like “Marlboro?!?” and I said “Yes” my lips said as my head screamed ‘tell him you’re trying to quit!!!’ “Ooooh, we’re gonna get along fine…” he said. (OH YEAHHHHHH) I said to myself…. Agghh.. someone – help me!
|
|
|
| |
| random thoughts* |
| 04.05.04 (4:21 pm) [edit] |
There are things in life I’ve done I wish I could take back… sometimes I wish to lose them so hard I don’t even care if lose what’s really important in my life…. Good things that came with it. I wish I wasn’t like that. But sometimes it hurts too much. It’s not that I can’t handle it. There’s just so much going on inside of me… And I keep pushing it away. Making believe it’s not there because it’s convenient. Feelings I wish I never had… All of the sudden they come back… and hit me like the angry sea. And I drown. I have it all. All the things other people would want… Sometimes I wonder if this is what “I” wanted- Do the thoughts haunt you too? Do you wish you’d never crossed that point? Are you afraid to lose… what’s already lost? It’s my entire fault. I believed it cause I wanted to. I can do it… I have no doubt about it. It’s not your fault. I’m just in pain. But the agony dies so slow. This stupid heart… (STUPID, STUPID HEART)
Me enamore y no se como olvidar. Si es que he lastimado a alguien, en el pasado. Dios me perdone. Lo estoy pagando… Me duele la raiz de mis entrañas. Como duele… Pero aunque me duele tanto perderte, yo me se aguantar. Te olvidare… Ojala que el dia que tengas que llorar, siempre halla quien te cure la herida. Que siempre haiga alguien en tu vida, en tus sueños, y en tu corazon.
“debes buscarte un nuevo amor, que no guarde sus problemas, que no sea como yo, a la hora de la cena. Que cuando muera de celos, jamas te diga nada. Que no tenga como yo, tantas heridas en el alma. debes buscarte un nuevo amor, que sea amiga de tus amigos simpatize con tus padres. Que nunca hable de mas, que no pueda lastimarte. Pero vida, me conoces desde siempre, y tengo algo que decir, siempre digo lo que siento.”
He llorado noches enteras… por tu amor. Llevas en tu boca, los besos que te di. Llevas en tus manos, rastros de mi piel. Y en tu cabello el perfume de nuestro sudor.
Noches sin estrellas… Fumo cigarros en tu nombre. Que alguien te haga feliz. Y lagrimas caen al pensar que no piensas en mi. Y maldigo el haberte conocido. Pero no tiene razon… Ingrato, si sabias que no hibas a amarme… Por que quisiste lastimarme. Por que si estabamos tan bien… tu sin mi, y yo sin ti.
|
|
|
| |
|
Leaving is the longest word I ever learned
In the time it takes to say it, the whole world has turned
If a heartbeat lasts a lifetime then I've lived before
`cause I remember standing at this open door
This path is not the one I'd choose to travel
Even as we watch what tied us unravel
And the tears fall like rain
Deeper than crying, the loving still remains
Neither wants to be the one to say goodbye
And neither wants to be the one who's left to cry
But in our secret heart of hearts we both know
That the time for patching up has passed and it's time to go
|