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| come take a little piece of me... |
| 06.02.04 (1:11 pm) [edit] |
I’m thinking… death.
Begging for her to come and save me.
There’s an aching in my veins that just won’t stop. There’s a punishment that has taken over my own shadow. I used to wonder if what I did was so bad. Now I know by the pain I’ve been feeling.
Let me fall into a deep sleep… and not wake up again.
I’ve been drinking the sadness into uncontrollable rage. Running into myself until I fall into a corner.
I know now not even death wants to come and be near me…
….please… please….
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| trying to find a way- |
| 06.02.04 (10:06 am) [edit] |
I’m not doing so good this morning. I’m tired, and it seems like the sky is never gonna stop shitting on me. I had a terrible afternoon yesterday trying to get things done and NOTHING got done. Except for me spending lots of money trying to get it all done.
I woke up this morning and Michael had come by last night to pick up all his clothes and other stuff.
I didn’t hear him around the house, I was asleep…
I wonder how he feels. And if he really doesn’t love me anymore… L
It’s a sad thought. I guess I’m just trying to get used to it…
“oey” (from friends)* and Diabla are gonna come by tonight keep me company. I invited the Mexican connection too (gonzo, pinguino).
I’ll let vanative know. I guess, the more the merrier. U know?
I guess the good thing Is that I’m almost home, you know? On the 8th of july I’ll be there. With my old friends (the ones that are still around, and the others I joined the marine corps with), and my family. My dad said I could live at home for free as long as I went to college. When I get a job I’m gonna help out anyway, and pay off the rest of my bills. And of course, he did say the college I would have to pay myself. I’m sure the cange of scenery will help. Silent asked me what I was listening to… I said nelly furtado and she laughed. I guess that’s my soul searcher music-
[i]
I'm tryin' a find a way
I'm tryin' a find a right
And if I budge I just might
I'm tryin' a find a way
I'm tryin' a find a right
And if I budge I just might
So I'm dancing to a new beat and it came to me in bed
My veins became a strain of light that I let to flow instead
And a wish came to me like Peter Pan at my window and said
Evolve your destiny child and you'll never walk alone-no
You'll never walk alone, but
Travel to the land of surrender till' you can't cry no more
Till you can't, till you can't
And you'll never walk alone[/i]
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Leaving is the longest word I ever learned
In the time it takes to say it, the whole world has turned
If a heartbeat lasts a lifetime then I've lived before
`cause I remember standing at this open door
This path is not the one I'd choose to travel
Even as we watch what tied us unravel
And the tears fall like rain
Deeper than crying, the loving still remains
Neither wants to be the one to say goodbye
And neither wants to be the one who's left to cry
But in our secret heart of hearts we both know
That the time for patching up has passed and it's time to go
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